A Quick Guide To Life

A summary of what we’ve covered so far.

1) The government is conspiring against you. Fortunately, the government is so full of incompetents that most of these plans fall apart years before they have any tangible effect on you.
2) All cultivated plants and domesticated animals are genetically modified. They have been bred for specific genetic traits that make them more palatable.
And cute.

And cute.

3) Vegetarianism is entirely unnatural. Not eating meat actually contributes to the extinction of several species that would not survive if left to their own devices. Most domesticated meat-bearing animals (cows/sheep/pigs/chickens) are so removed from their wild ancestors that if we did not breed them for food, they would die out.
4) Choosing to preserve a species because of its cute factor is highly irresponsible. Every aspect of the Giant Panda indicates it would naturally go extinct.
5) There is no balance of nature. Nature is wildly chaotic and ecosystems change constantly. Species evolve and die out rapidly in a natural environment.
6) Human beings, and their effects on the environment, are themselves an aspect of nature. Our effect on ecosystems are examples of selective pressures on the species within those ecosystems, and only the strong survive.
7) Climate change is an indisputable fact. Like ecosystems, climate is a dynamic, chaotic system that has varied, and will vary, throughout the earth’s history. However;
8) The human species’ addiction to fossil fuels is adding to this dynamic change. This is, too, an indisputable fact. What we choose to do about it, and the consequences of our actions, are for us to determine.
9) Renewable energy is an achievable goal that will not be achieved until all the fossil fuels run out. This means that, paradoxically, if you care about the environment you should waste as much fossil fuel energy as possible to force a crisis.
10) Nuclear energy in the modern era is safe, stable, and will account for nearly all human energy needs until the technology for renewable energy exists. Those that doubt the efficacy of nuclear power are hysterical.
11) The consequences of your actions are yours alone. You may depend on the state, your family and friends for help, but you have to accept that your actions have consequences to yourself and others around you. This is called Karma.
12) Conventional medicine is a work in progress, but provides infinitely more relief than all alternative, mystical and quasi-spiritual medicines. Conventional medicine, however flawed, is better than blind faith.
13) Science beats faith. Deal with it. Science is behind every aspect of the modern world, whereas faith is behind burnings, hangings, genocide, rape, torture,  the oppression of women, the abuse of children and the suppression of education.
14) The only good belief is one you keep to yourself. Everyone deserves belief, but nobody deserves belief that is thrust on them by someone they trust to tell them the truth.
15) Belief in a higher power is dis-empowering. Belief in your own ability will set you free.
16) The universe is indifferent to your existence. You are not here by design: you are here by luck.
"Chew on that."

“Chew on that.”

17) Death is not the end. You and all your constituent molecules will be recycled back into the world and appear in myriad forms: as fish, rainclouds, trees and spiderwebs. This is the only kind of afterlife you have to worry about.
18) The only kind of life worth living is one that people remember. Try to be kind. If you can’t be kind, be funny. If you can’t be funny, be thoughtful. If you can’t be thoughtful, just be quiet. And work at it.
19) Always improve. Learn something. Practice. Explore. And don’t give up. You don’t have long before you become something else.
20) Try not to worry about things.
21) Life on other worlds is impractical. Our closest neighbour, Mars, is basically the Sheffield of outer space: dusty and inhospitable. For the time being, this is the only world we have.
22) A healthy lifestyle and a healthy outlook are wildly opposed. The wise care less about heart disease and cancer than they do about boring everyone around them with talk of rice cakes and jogging.
23) We are all in this together. Black, white, whatever, men and women all. Tribalism gets us nowhere: humanity will get us through life.
24) You are wiser than you know and stupider than you realise. When you discover this, you will be wiser still.
25) Sex is no more sinful than sneezing.
26) Money is only what you can do with it. More often than not the rich are crippled by a lack of imagination.
27) Don’t aim to be a celebrity. Aim to be celebrated.
Tombstone reads: celebrated for nothing.

Tombstone reads: celebrated for nothing.

28) Why do something you hate for reasons you don’t understand?
29) Don’t waste your time buying stuff you don’t need with money you don’t have to impress people you don’t like.
30) Everybody loves a good fart.

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